Moving Beyond Limitations by Dr. Jeanine

May 11th, 2012

“Argue for your limitations and sure enough they’re yours.”
~Richard Bach

For whatever reason, I’ve been fascinated by the number of times that the topic of limitation has come up for discussion in my coaching sessions recently. Sometimes my clients feel limited by some perceived parameters such as a disability, a difference, a perceived weakness or imperfection. But more often than not, they are struggling with someone else’s projected idea of limitation.

I know in my own life I am much more careful than I used to be about telling others the things that I am doing or the things I hope to do. At times, others will suggest that I am doing too much or suggest that what I am already doing (unknown to them) is impossible. Now, more than ever, I am vigilant not to buy into someone else’s ideas of limitation.

It may be tempting to see ourselves as small and play small. Playing small doesn’t threaten others and it can feel reassuring to not challenge the choices we’ve always made or that those around us make. However, if to limit our truest and highest expression is an attempt not to rock the boat, or make others feel less threatened, our life is ultimately unlived.

We know when we are doing too much, when our priorities are out of whack or based on values and ideals that don’t suit us. We tend to feel run down, we get sick easily and we have low energy. Only we can evaluate whether we are involving ourselves in what positive psychology expert Paul Pearsall refers to as “Toxic Success”. What looks frenetic or overly-intense to another may be on point and healthy for us. We can always ask ourselves a question to uncover the genesis of our motivation to assess whether we are behaving manically or purposely, whether we are moving towards or away from life and/or if we are coming from the perspective of love or fear.

If we are creating, developing, growing and learning, why visit the idea of limits? Why buy into the projections of those who feel restricted and limited in their own lives?

What is fascinating to me is that many of my clients and friends with disabilities perceive fewer limits than my friends and clients who seem to have every opportunity and ability at their fingertips. What I have discovered is that what is most important is what abilities and blessings we are willing to embrace. Certainly, the biggest limit comes from putting focused attention on perceived challenges, disabilities, imperfections or limitations.

When speaking to a dear client of mine the other day, we marveled at the life of Helen Keller. When we ponder the fact that many of us can be derailed for days in the face of an unkind word, it is amazing to think what she was able to overcome. Helen Keller is a great example of someone who was able to focus on her abilities instead of her limitations. Because she was able to do this, she was able to maximize her gifts of genius and compassion. How can you focus on your abilities to release your personal genius?

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Helen Keller (1880 – 1968)


Whenever I am tempted to think that I can’t face a certain life challenge because of some perceived limitation, I think of Helen Keller. She became deaf and blind due to a childhood disease, and she overcame her adversity by learning sign language, Braille, and learning to speak. She said, “Although the world is full of suffering, it is also full of overcoming it.”
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(c) 2012 Jeanine Marie Austin, Ph.D., C.Ht.
Doctor of Life Coaching, Certified Hypnotherapist
Simply Divine Solutions
Life Coaching and Hypnosis Worldwide

http://www.SimplyDivineSolutions.com

(480) 491-0770

Free Consultation Available

Surfing on the Sea of Contrast

April 30th, 2012

It is difficult when we find ourselves dealing with a situation that we would never want consciously to create. These days, when many believe that we create our total reality, we may feel guilty if our life seems to contain aspects in it which are untoward. Whether we have stubbed our toe or are facing a terminal cancer diagnosis, we may wonder why these unpleasant elements have manifested in our lives. Did we create this? Are we vibrationally unfit?

With the popularity of the movie The Secret, which is about the Law of Attraction (L.o.A.), we may be tempted to blame ourselves or others when certain things have manifested in one’s life. While the Law of Attraction does have its place in the scheme of our life, it is just one of many life laws. We may unconsciously use blame as a way to distance ourselves from others who are suffering. Some may even think or actually say to sufferers, “Well, you manifested that.”

Ester and Jerry Hicks (Abraham) who popularized the Law of Attraction concept would never wish that the Law of Attraction concept be utilized to rationalize callousness or unkindness. While we want to be aware of the power we have in attracting into our lives the elements that we wish for, ultimately attracting what we want and becoming more actualized beings through contrast is also a powerful force. Most of us will relate to the seemingly paradoxical force of creating and becoming through contrast. Some metaphysicians believe that we may have asked before our birth that we be in challenging contrasting roles so that we may have opportunities to work through karma and/or to “get off the karmic wheel” altogether through the force of challenge. This idea is similar to that of a body builder who pushes her muscles against the contrasting force of weight encouraging her muscles to grow bigger and stronger. Most of us know that when we work through difficulties, we have the opportunity to become more compassionate, stronger, smarter, and more actualized beings.

Most of us would never consciously say, “Let me choose this particular difficult situation to work through.” If we could learn more through joy, wouldn’t that be great? But, let’s face it, most of us learn the most through challenge. When we deal with difficulties, we often become better people than we ever thought we would or could. We also model for others how they might survive, creating a coping model for all those who watch us and come after us. We need not feel guilty about suffering. We will all know suffering. We can choose to become bitter and angry when we suffer (which is also okay as long as we don’t get stuck in it) or we can choose to become soft-hearted, loving, compassionate, and smarter. Yes, smarter! My friends and I often call our challenges “reference points.” We can have a good laugh about our challenges and say when something unpleasant happens (albeit tongue in cheek), “Yea! More reference points!”

Many of the most powerful, influential change agents throughout history had difficult or challenging lives. Having the contrast to what they would have wished for or would have liked to have created given the conscious opportunity, seemed to make them the leaders and role models they became. Would Harriet Tubman, a severely beaten slave, been motivated to free others had she been a spoiled child? Maybe. But, my intuition tells me this is doubtful. However, the means do not justify the end. Child abuse, for example, isn’t justifiable because someone like Oprah takes that experience and uses it for contrast to become more than she might have. But people who overcome their contrasts do seem to become especially incredible, stellar human beings. Again, purposefully visiting pain on others is never justifiable.

I’ve recently noticed that most of the people in my personal life that I am closest to have had a child that died. At first I thought this was an interesting coincidence. Now, I realize that I am drawn to these people because they have overcome one of the greatest pains possible and have become deeper, kinder, more sensitive, and often deeply spiritual people. (I love you guys—you know who you are—thank you for being my friends and heroes!).

Many people will never overcome the contrasts to joy in their life. This is why we don’t want to invite contrast into our lives or anyone else’s life. However, I would invite anyone who has had contrasts to joy and happiness in their life to consciously catapult themselves into more enlightened and loving human beings. It is as if the circumstances of life are the rubber band pulled backward as far as possible and you are the stone also pulled backward for a period of time. However, when the rubber band is released, you are catapulted to heights that you would not have been able to go had you not been forced backward in contrast for that period of time.

I would offer to try not to feel guilty about your contrasts because of the tenor of our times. Remember to be gentle with yourself. If a child has a wound, wouldn’t your first response be to take care of the child and love him? How might you use your contrasts to make the world a better place? My goal in life is to assuage the suffering of all sentient beings (I’m shooting big!). How might you use your suffering for the positive? Like a surfer riding waves who uses the contrasts in the tides to move forward, how might you put the force of contrasts to use in your life?

(c) 2009 Jeanine Marie Austin, Ph.D., C.Ht.
Doctor of Life Coaching, Certified Hypnotherapist
Simply Divine Solutions
Life Coaching and Hypnosis Worldwide

http://www.SimplyDivineSolutions.com

(480) 491-0770

Free Consultation Available

First published February 2009

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April 26th, 2012

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Jeanine Marie Austin, Ph.D., C.Ht.
Doctor of Life Coaching, Certified Hypnotherapist
Simply Divine Solutions
Life Coaching and Hypnosis Worldwide

http://www.SimplyDivineSolutions.com

(480) 491-0770

Free Consultation Available