Boundaries

January 21st, 2012

Healthy boundaries keep good in and bad out. Please take a moment and think about how you’d like to create or soften boundaries in your life.

Some people have very rigid boundaries which keep others at bay. Others have very little in the way of boundaries. These people may be taken advantage of because they have no or very little boundary protection.

Because as women we are socialized to be nice, ladylike and polite, expectations about being a good girl may override our internal sense that our boundaries are being violated. For example, we may get into an elevator with someone we feel uncomfortable with because we don’t want to be rude. What security and defense experts urge us to do is to be aware of and honor our feelings in these situations, even if they seem rude or irrational. Let’s not rationalize away that internal signal that tells us something is wrong or unsafe, this signal is there to protect us. If we feel our energies pulling back in a situation, we may want to quickly check into our bodies for some immediate awareness regarding whether or not we are in danger (emotionally and/or physically).

In the book Better Boundaries: Owning and Treasuring Your Life by Jan Black and Greg Enns they write “The three purposes of boundaries are: 1)To protect you 2) To preserve you and 3) To present you. [...] Your personal boundary system lets others know who you are, what you want, and what you can give.”

Those of us with rigid boundaries may want to examine how we might soften our boundaries, making them more permeable. It may be helpful to examine our personal history to understand why we may have developed this rigidity and how these rigid boundaries may actually be hindering us in relationships now. We can always choose a new way to relate to others.

video on boundaries & communication: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jTGLohIXsSs

(c) 2012 Jeanine Marie Austin, Ph.D., C.Ht.
Doctor of Life Coaching, Certified Hypnotherapist
Simply Divine Solutions
Life Coaching and Hypnosis Worldwide

http://www.SimplyDivineSolutions.com

480.491.0770
Free Consultation Available

The Dream

January 14th, 2012

I was born in August of 1965 in the sweltering heat of Opelika, Alabama. Perhaps surprisingly, the year 1965 and the state of Alabama were to be auspicious for The Civil Rights Movement.

In 1965, the Selma, Alabama to Montgomery, Alabama marches were comprised of three marches that marked the peak of the United States Civil Rights Movement. Many prominent leaders were involved in these marches, which were born from the voting rights movement, including Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. and Hosea Williams.

About 13 years ago, I made the pilgrimage with my mother to the Martin Luther King, Jr. death site and now museum in Memphis, Tennessee. My mother and I were engaged in conversation when we looked up to see that we had pulled into the Lorraine Hotel parking lot and were both instantly transported when we gazed upon the second floor hotel railing and could easily visualize the iconic image from 1968 with the three men pointing in the direction of the gunshots that killed Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.. Minutes later, I actually stood on the balcony where Dr King, was shot and killed. I could still feel the intense energy of purpose and the reverberation of the man who once had a dream for all of us to live in peace and harmony.

When we contemplate the almost unimaginable courage it took for Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. to give the famous “I Have A Dream” speech it leaves every last one of us moved. Acknowledging the set backs and trials and tribulations of the movement, he implored us:

“I say to you today, my friends, that in spite of the difficulties and frustrations of the moment, I still have a dream. It is a dream deeply rooted in the American dream. I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: “We hold these truths to be self-evident: that all men are created equal.”

Let us open our hearts to each other, especially to those in need of compassion and service as we celebrate MLK Day.

To watch the speech: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PbUtL_0vAJk

© 2011 Jeanine Marie Austin, Ph.D., C.Ht.
Doctor of Life Coaching, Certified Hypnotherapist
Simply Divine Solutions
Life Coaching and Hypnosis Worldwide

http://www.SimplyDivineSolutions.com

480.491.0770
Free Consultation Available

Just Breathe

January 10th, 2012

Breathe by Anna Nalick
“2 AM and she calls me ’cause I’m still awake,
“Can you help me unravel my latest mistake?,
I don’t love him. Winter just wasn’t my season”
Yeah we walk through the doors, so accusing their eyes
Like they have any right at all to criticize,
Hypocrites. You’re all here for the very same reason.”

After a major transition in my life, and I’ve noticed in my mid-forties there are a few of these transitions in life, I decided, on a whim, to get on a plane and go to Australia. Because it was an impulse decision, none of my friends were available to go with me so I just decided to go by myself. It was a journey half way around the world from my native California. I’ve always been compelled, much like what Eleanor Roosevelt once said to “do the thing that scares you.” Further, if I am having a challenging time I always like to do something that will offer me a new perspective.

After landing in Sydney and enjoying the goings on there in the capitol city of New South Wales, I got on another plane and headed for Cairns, Queensland in the far north of Australia, nearly 2000 miles away. Fortuitously for me, the pilots invited me to sit with them in the cockpit (pre-9/11 of course) as they regaled me with lore from the Queensland jungle.

Quickly following my disembarking I decided to scuba dive the Great Barrier Reef. I had never scuba dived before, but it seemed like the thing to do. The Great Barrier Reef is the world’s largest reef system and is composed over 2,900 reefs (wiki). Of course it is also famous for being one of the seven natural wonders of the world. I settle into my hostel, found a resort’s course that would allow me to dive after a 30 minute or so tutorial right on the boat and my new roomie, who was visting from Brisbane in the south, generously made me a Vegemite sandwich to take with me. She drove me to the dock and soon the instructor gave me the moniker “Little California” because the crew had a hard time locating a wet suit small enough to fit me.

At the end of the 30 minute overview, nearly all of my fellow newbies, about 15 people, decided not to scuba the reef. As it turned out, when it came down to it, they were afraid of breathing with the respirator. The Canadian girl to the left of me had a panic attack as she tried the respirator and the Irishman to the right of me sucked so hard on his respirator he nearly hyperventilated.

I too, seeing my mates go down like a house of cards, felt scared. However, I didn’t want do go back home not having had this experience. In a decidedly compulsive fashion I kept telling myself, “Just breathe. Just breathe. Just breathe.”

The remaining group partnered up and because I did not have a partner, naturally, my partner was the instructor. We held hands and swam around like the characters from the Blue Lagoon movie. We gave each other lots of enthusiastic “thumbs up” and happy exaggerated gestures. Even when we swam through a group of little sharks, I felt at peace and trusting of the experience. I knew as long as I kept gently and rhythmically breathing, I’d be okay.

Many times during my life I have remembered this sweet experience. Once I decided to breathe easily and calmly, much of the rest fell into place. A great deal of possible worries transformed into effortless flow. As in the first chapter of my Alma Answers e-course and in almost all spiritual traditions and cultural narratives, we begin with the breath.

(c) 2012 Jeanine Marie Austin, Ph.D., C.Ht.
Doctor of Life Coaching, Certified Hypnotherapist
Simply Divine Solutions
Life Coaching and Hypnosis Worldwide

http://www.SimplyDivineSolutions.com

480.491.0770
Free Consultation Available